


as straight as a bendy ruler

by softkyun (tinyegg)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, M/M, hoseok is just an oblivious walnut, minhyuk is trying his best, mistaken case of internalized homophobia, unhelpful friends are unhelpful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 04:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12809511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyegg/pseuds/softkyun
Summary: “Someone should write an article on this.” Changkyun remarks.“Title it: ‘Straight guy worries he’s being homophobic to gay roommate, realizes he’s fallen in love with him.” Kihyun adds, snickering.Alternatively: Hoseok unwittingly pines after Minhyuk, gets easily jealous and stays firmly rooted in denial, much to the frustration of everyone else.





	as straight as a bendy ruler

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this article: https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/straight-guy-worries-hes-homophobic-gay-roommate-ends-falling-love/
> 
> I'm pretty sure I've seen this done before but not for mx?? So here's my take on this ridiculous au, hope you enjoy!!

Hoseok fiddles with the straw in his drink nervously. _I can’t believe I’m actually going to have this conversation. I’ve never felt more like a terrible person in my life._

“Hoseok, stop fidgeting, you look like you’re about to pee yourself.” Hyungwon smacks him on the shoulder as he slides into the booth casually. Hoseok looks up, to see the familiar face of his best friend – impassive and just a hint of judgemental, going by the arched eyebrow.

“Shut up, Hyungwon. What I’m about to tell you guys today is important. I mean it’s bad, and I don’t want to talk about it but if I don’t I might explode.” Hoseok sips from the straw, grimacing a little at the overly-sweet taste. _Goddammit, Yoonho,_ he shoots a dirty glance at the barista, who doesn’t take any notice.

“Hey, sorry we’re late. We got… held up at the apartment.” Kihyun says cheerfully as he slides into the booth opposite Hoseok and Hyungwon. Changkyun follows suit, giving them a brief wave.

“Ew,” Hyungwon wrinkles his nose. “We don’t need to know anything about what you do at your apartment, you obnoxious hamster.”

“I wasn’t trying to say anything weird, you sensitive frog.” Kihyun huffs. “Changkyun just burnt his instant noodles, that’s all.”

Feeling oddly offended at such an unholy act, Hoseok can’t help but cut in. “How do you _burn_ ramen?”

“Be me for a day and you’ll find out you shouldn’t underestimate my ability to screw things up.” Changkyun shrugs. “Anyway, Kihyun is right _but_ we also did make out after he saved my ramen, so…”

“ _Gay_.” Hyungwon scrunches up his nose again.

“You’re _bisexual_ , dumbass!” Kihyun counters. “Okay, we’ve been distracted for long enough. Hoseok, what did you want to talk about today? It sounded important.”

“Oh, uh,” Hoseok says, feeling a sudden sense of unease when all the eyes at the table swerve in his direction. “I mean, it’s important – not _really_ important but it’s been bothering me a lot recently so I thought I’d ask for your advice –“

“Just spit it out, Hoseokkie, I’m aging over here.” Hyungwon says.

Hoseok clamps his mouth shut at his interjection. Taking a second to muster his courage, he inhales deeply.

“I think I’m homophobic.”

Changkyun jerks, almost spitting out his water and promptly bursts into a coughing fit. Kihyun pats his back comfortingly, although his eyes remain trained on Hoseok with a look of intense concern. Hyungwon stares at him for a moment in shock, then bursts into a series of giggles.

That… was not what he expected. Looking at them in confusion, Hoseok says, “What? Can you guys take this seriously for a moment? This has been bothering me for _weeks_!”

Changkyun slowly recovers from his coughing fit, but when he speaks, his voice is raw and hoarse. “Hyung, I don’t know how to break it to you but… everyone at this table besides you is gay. Or bi. You’re not homophobic.”

“Besides that, remember the Dark Ages before changki got together?” Hyungwon adds, pointing at the couple across the table. “That’s you by the way. You were so supportive of their relationship, you were like, the _captain_ of that fucking ship. And now they’re gross and in love and our friend group has been split up.”

“But… but…” Hoseok sputters, at a loss. “Then… nothing makes sense!”

Kihyun pats his arm comfortingly. “Hoseok, you’re not homophobic. I have no idea why you even think that. Could you start from the beginning of this problem? Maybe some context will help.”

Hoseok nods. “Okay, so, you remember my roommate right? Lee Minhyuk?”

“Oh man, you’re roommates with _that_ Minhyuk? Damn, hyung, that guy is _wild._ I saw him give Son Hyunwoo from the swim team a lap dance once. It was an _experience_. I always thought you were talking about that cute kid, Park Minhyuk, the one who hangs out with Park Jinwoo?” Changkyun whistles lowly. Kihyun smacks his head, with a deathly look that clearly says _not now_.

Pushing down the immediate feeling of revulsion that rose after Changkyun’s statement, Hoseok says, “That’s it! That’s the problem right there.” At their looks of confusion, he elaborates, “I got… weirdly disgusted after Changkyun said that.”

“You know Minhyuk, he kind of likes to sleep around. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Really, I have no problem with it! Or at least, I _thought_ I had no problem with it. I mean, who am I to judge Minhyuk when I had a FWB over every other week last year right? He never complained at all either, he’s such a great guy –“ Well aware he’s begun to ramble, Hoseok cuts himself off.

“Anyway, the problem is, recently, whenever Minhyuk brings a guy home, I’ve been feeling really annoyed, resentful, disgusted – I don’t know how to describe it! Once, I caught him making out on the couch with BamBam from the floor below us and I felt like throwing up.” Hoseok says, hanging his head down in shame. “I’m so sorry guys, if this is making you feel uncomfortable in any way, please let me know. The last thing I want to do is make you guys feel unsafe just because of my internalized homophobia or whatever this is.”

He chances a look at his friends. They’re exchanging an odd looking glance. He can’t decipher what it means, but he prays he hasn’t offended or hurt them in any way.

After what feels like an eternity, Kihyun pats his hand with a strange gleam in his eye. “Don’t worry, Hoseok, I’m glad you came to us with your problems. And this isn’t your fault or homophobia or whatever you think it is, I promise. Just give it some time and maybe talk it out with your roommate, okay? Things will work out.”

“Yeah! Not homophobia at all, hyung. It’s probably just… stress or something.” Changkyun nods vigorously.

“But we’re not having any exams yet?” Hoseok says, confused.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s a baby, what does he know about stress?” Hyungwon rolls his eyes. “But anyway, don’t worry too much Hoseok. Things will be fine. And we’ll help you if they aren’t.”

“Okay,” Hoseok says warmly, shooting a grateful look to his friends. “Thank you so much guys, I really thought I was going to explode but I’m glad I talked to you all. It really helped.”

 

# ✖

 

There’s the soft _click_ of the door. Hoseok lifts his head. _Minhyukkie? You home?_ He almost calls out, but abruptly slams his mouth shut when he hears rustling from outside his room and an unfamiliar laugh. _Tell-tale signs Minhyuk brought another one of his ‘friends’_ home.

_Shit. SHIT_. Hoseok scrambles off his bed and towards his desk, rummaging for his headphones. Frantically jamming it into his ears and turning the volume up as loud as he can, he flops back onto the bed, trying his best to think of nothing.

There’s a loud _bang_ from the other room and the other man _giggles_.

_What the fuck are they doing in there?_ Hoseok scowls. _And why is his voice so annoying? Who even laughs like that?_

His train of thought, however, is abruptly cut off when he hears someone make a _noise_ that he was _definitely not supposed to hear_. Feeling guilty and ashamed like he’s committed some kind of crime, Hoseok desperately pushes the headphones against his ears, in a futile attempt to block the noises coming from the other side of the paper-thin walls.

_God, I wish he’d just leave. I know I have no right to think that when they haven’t done anything wrong but – I feel like_ shit _._ Hoseok thinks, turning over in his bed restlessly. Every time he hears another _noise_ , he can’t help but think of what might be going on in the other room. What the other guy might be doing to _Minhyuk_. The bile unwillingly rises in his throat, making him feel sick to his stomach.

In his own mind, Hoseok laughs bitterly. _Fuck, I’m going to hell for this. I’ve definitely got some intense case of internalized homophobia._

 

# ✖

“Hoseok?” Minhyuk stares at him, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. “I – oh god, I didn’t know you were home! The lights were off so – shit, I’m so sorry –“

_You look like a goldfish,_ Hoseok wants to say, _and yes I did hear everything, so could you stop bringing guys home every week?_ But instead, he says, “No, I didn’t hear anything, don’t worry. I was working on producing some new tracks so I didn’t even hear you come in. Don’t worry, it’s my fault, not yours, since I didn’t tell you I’d be home today.”

Minhyuk’s shoulders sag with visible relief. He smiles, mouth pulling into that usual sunny grin of his. “Oh thank god. That would have been awkward, huh? Anyway, I’m making pancakes. Want any?”

“Of course, you know the way straight through my heart.” Hoseok jokes, to lighten the previously awkward atmosphere. “They’re my favourite, besides ramen, of course.”

“I know. Want to watch a Tarantino movie together over breakfast?” Minhyuk’s eyes light up, making Hoseok feel warm inside, even though he just lied through his teeth. _Worth it_.

“Sure, what says romance besides graphic violence, right?”

And when Minhyuk settles himself beside Hoseok on the couch, shoulders brushing his although there is so much more room on the other end of the couch, Hoseok feels the ugly feelings of revulsion in him dissipate, allowing him to enjoy the cheerful early morning.

 

# ✖

“So, how’s your Minhyuk problem going, Hoseok?” Hyungwon asks, sipping his iced tea. Hoseok considers this for a moment, then shrugs.

“Not any better, not any worse,” he concludes.

The four of them are at their regular Sunday brunch again, which in essence, means it’s time for them to gossip about each other’s lives and catch up.

“But in the meantime since the problem isn’t getting any better, I’ve been suffering.” Hoseok buries his face into his hands. “The other day I was in my room and he didn’t know, so he had sex with BamBam in his room. I felt like shit and I couldn’t stop thinking about what BamBam might have done to him even though I _don’t_ want to imagine that. It makes me really uncomfortable and grossed out. But what’s worse is that he got with BamBam _again_. If they become a regular thing, I don’t know what I’ll do! Besides, what does he see in BamBam anyway? Guy’s annoying.”

“Huh, what’s so annoying about him?” Hyungwon raises an eyebrow. “Far as I know, he’s a nice guy. Gets a little wild at parties but that’s no different from Minhyuk.”

“I don’t know, just – _argh_. I get this feeling about him. He’s, just, not right for Minhyuk, you know? Minhyuk needs someone who will hold him back sometimes, not encourage him to be _wilder_. Maybe I’m just being a concerned roommate? But that doesn’t explain why I feel disgusted whenever Minhyuk brings _anybody_ home.” Hoseok sighs. “You sure I’m not homophobic? Because I’m feeling like a pretty awful person right now.”

Unexpectedly, it’s Changkyun who pipes up at this. “You’re not an awful person, Hoseok. You’re the one who encouraged me to approach Kihyun when I was afraid of being shot down. You have the biggest heart ever – and you know I don’t say cheesy shit like this usually, but it’s true. Just maybe try… thinking with your heart on this one? I mean he is your friend, just do what your gut tells you to.”

Kihyun snorts. “Way to sound like an inspirational greeting card, Kkukkung. But he’s right Hoseok, don’t think about it too hard. Just do what you feel is right.”

 

# ✖

 

_Are you fucking kidding me? This can’t be happening_ again. Hoseok stands frozen at the sight before him. Minhyuk and another guy – not BamBam this time? – on the couch, _very much_ naked and staring at him with equal amounts of shock.

“Sorry – uh, I’m just gonna, go –“ Hoseok blurts and flees into his room, accidentally slamming the door shut in panic.

Wishing nothing more than to have the floor swallow him whole so he won’t have to deal with this situation later, Hoseok lies on the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to keep his thoughts blank.

But no matter how hard he tries, the image of Minhyuk on that _goddamn_ couch – which he suddenly has the urge to _burn_ – remains seared in his mind. Even that wouldn’t be so bad, but along with that image is that _man_ , with his arm wrapped possessively around Minhyuk’s bare waist, which is enough to make Hoseok want to throw up again.

 

# ✖

 

“Hoseokkie…?” Minhyuk says hesitantly. “I’m really sorry that happened. I thought you were spending the night at Hyungwon’s to produce a track together.”

“Postponed. Hyungwon's busy.” Hoseok replies, unable to meet Minhyuk’s eyes.

“Ah…” Minhyuk trails off awkwardly. “Um, anyway! This is JB, I mean Jaebum, he’s the guy who, um, you know…” _What kind of fuckbuddies are close enough for nicknames?_ Hoseok thinks incredulously.

“Nice to meet you, like Minhyuk said, I’m Jaebum and you are…?” The guy – Jaebum – holds out his hand for Hoseok to shake. He hesitates a moment, wondering if he could get away with ignoring his handshake, even if it was a petty gesture. Finally, Hoseok shakes his hand, ignoring the shivers that crawled up his arm at the thought of what that hand had been doing only hours before. 

“I’m Hoseok. I’m Minhyuk’s… _roommate_.” Hoseok doesn’t intend for it to come out that way, but his tone is definitely more threatening than intended, causing the atmosphere to become significantly tenser.

Minhyuk coughs. “Well, um… okay! I think it’s time for you to go Jaebum, see you another time!” He awkwardly ushers Jaebum to the door and turns back to Hoseok the moment the door is firmly shut.  _Another time? There's going to be another time?_

“Hoseok, I don’t know what to say… I’m so sorry you had to see that. I can see you’re upset and trust me, I couldn’t feel worse about this situation right now.” Minhyuk says, the guilt evident in his tone. “If it’s about the couch, don’t worry, I placed a sheet over it before we did anything, I _promise_ –“

“You think this is about the _couch_?” Hoseok snaps, almost flinching in surprise at his own tone. He’s never heard his own voice so harsh before, but before he can find some self-restraint, he barrels on as if possessed. “Have you considered that maybe this is about the fact that you bring home, like, three guys a month and you fuck them right in front of _me_ although it makes me uncomfortable?”

“Hoseok, I –“ Minhyuk seems to be at a loss for words, mouth gaping open and closed with no sound coming out. “It was an accident, both times, I’m so sorry –“ The fear and worry – Hoseok feels sick, knowing _he_ was the one who placed it on Minhyuk’s face, yet he feels a vicious sense of satisfaction with his next words.

“ _Sorry_ doesn’t erase how disgusted I felt! You think it’s okay for you to bring guys home all the time like this? Don’t you have any shred of consideration?” _Fuck, fuck, what am I saying?_ But just like watching a train wreck from afar, it’s almost like he can’t stop himself from retorting and making the situation worse.

The hurt is clear on Minhyuk’s face. His voice comes out small, in a way Hoseok’s never heard before. “You think I’m disgusting? For sleeping around? Or for sleeping with _guys_?”

In his mind, Hoseok thinks back to the year before:

_Minhyuk’s cheerful voice, eyes twinkling as he looks up at him. “Really? You don’t mind?”_

_“Ah, Hoseokkie, you’re the best. Not many straight guys would be cool with me flirting like this but you just play along. You’re really the best.”_

_“Hoseok, what will you do if I get a boyfriend? You can’t cuddle with me during movie time anymore, hah!”_

“…No. I don’t have a problem with you sleeping with guys and I already told you that last year. It’s just –“ Hoseok lets out a huff of frustration. “I can’t take it – how you keep sleeping with other guys in our apartment.”

Minhyuk’s eyes narrow. “I had to put up with plenty of the same thing last year. How can you complain when you used to bring your fuckbuddy over and I was forced to see you being affectionate with her all the time?”

“Okay. That’s fair. Sorry, Minhyuk, I’ve just had a bad day.” Hoseok runs a hand through his hair wearily, glancing at the clock, which reads 5 o’clock in the morning. “Honestly, I don’t care who you sleep with, it’s none of my business, as long as you do it in someone else’s place.”

Expecting his apology to diffuse the anger and tension between them, Hoseok is surprised when Minhyuk only seems to get angrier, his eyes shining with unshed tears of frustration. _Fuck, what did I do?_ Hoseok thinks, desperate to go over and hug Minhyuk like he usually would, but knowing it would just make the situation worse.

“Fine.” Minhyuk bites out, his tone icy sharp. “ _Fine_. But I think we need some time apart. I’m going over to a friend’s house until I cool down.”

“At five in the morning?” Hoseok says, feeling concern well up.

“What’s it to you anyway?” Minhyuk says harshly, before turning sharply and walking into his room. He doesn’t slam the door, Minhyuk isn’t for dramatic displays of anger, but Hoseok feels the distance between them yawn wide all the same.

_What have I done?_

# ✖

 

“You did _what_ now?” Kihyun sputters.

“Calm down, you’re going to choke on the food you have stuffed in your little hamster cheeks.” Hyungwon sighs, patting Kihyun on the back.

Hoseok hangs his head in shame, after relaying the whole story to them.

“Damn, hyung. Usually telling people to follow their heart works in the movies, but I guess I wasn’t supposed to tell that to a blockhead like you,” Changkyun remarks. Kihyun smacks him in the shoulder, eliciting a yelp of pain from the younger man.

Suddenly, Hoseok’s phone buzzes. His heart soars with hope, that maybe, just _maybe_ Minhyuk would be willing to come back and talk things over with him.

 

**Hoseok [8:01am]**

Minhyuk? I’m really sorry about yesterday

Can we talk about it over pizza and movies?

 

**fav person ever minhyukkie [10:12am]**

sorry hoseok. I’m not feeling well.

I’ll talk to you later

 

“’fav person ever minhyukkie’?” Hyungwon arches an eyebrow, with an obvious look of distaste.

“He created the contact himself.”

Hyungwon shakes his head. “Remind me what you see in this guy again?”

Hoseok sighs, feeling utterly disgusted at himself. “He’s never blown off Movie Night before. I must’ve hurt him really badly. And look! Minhyuk is typing with proper grammar and no typos – that _never_ happens. He must really hate me right now.”

“Hoseok, I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. Sure you’ve been a huge dick, a massive asshole, acting like a homophobic twat –“ Hyungwon says in a comforting tone that doesn’t suit his words.

Kihyun pinches the bridge of his nose. “Hyungwon, shut up. And who even says ‘twat’, what are you, pretending to be British?”

“I’m just trying to say that no matter how shitty of a friend Hoseok was being, there’s no way Minhyuk will stay away from him for long –“

A voice suddenly cuts into their conversation.

“Hey losers, it’s been too long! What are you guys talking about so intensely?” A familiar voice says cheerfully. Hoseok is greeted with the sight of someone vaulting over the headboard of their booth and landing on the seat beside Kihyun.

“Gunhee!” Kihyun exclaims in surprise.

“Oh nothing, we’re just discussing the possibility of Hoseok being a secret homophobe and Hoseok and Minhyuk’s first fight,” Hyungwon replies nonchalantly, as if this were an everyday occurrence.

“Oh…” Gunhee’s eyes are as wide as saucers. “You and Minhyuk had a fight? _You_ and _Minhyuk_?”

“Yes, yes, we did, no need to keep rubbing it in,” Hoseok grumbles.

“And what’s this about Hoseok being a homophobe?” Gunhee continues, with a look of confusion apparent on his face. “Look, Hoseok, I don’t know how to break it to you but everyone at this table is gay. Myself included. So how does that equal ‘homophobe’?”

Struck with a sense of déjà vu, Hoseok says, “Yeah, we already went over that.”

“It’s a long story,” Changkyun warns.

Gunhee shrugs. “I have a lot of free time – scratch that, I have an urge to procrastinate all my work until right before the deadline so that I can hate myself at that time and feel the adrenaline rush of submitting my assignment one minute before the deadline.”

With that, they launch into Hoseok’s – tragic, according to him – ridiculous story. By the end, Gunhee is scratching his head thoughtfully.

“Well, maybe you’re jealous of how active his sex life is or something? I mean you don’t have a problem with him sleeping with guys, but maybe it’s the frequency that he does it at?” Gunhee suggests.

“I don’t know. I haven’t had sex in a while, but I’m not like, _thirsty_ for it or anything,” Hoseok frowns thoughtfully. He flinches guiltily at the mother in the booth next to them pointedly covers her child’s ears and strides right out of that booth to another seat.

“Guys, we got to keep this conversation PG before we get kicked out,” Changkyun says worriedly. “I’m living the broke college student life and I can’t afford any other café’s besides this place. I think they might have downgraded the prices because of how shitty Yoonho’s drink-making skills are.”

“I mean, if you’re not jealous of how sexually active Minhyuk is, then what else could it be?” Gunhee asks.

“I honestly have no clue. I’ve never been homophobic, but it’s like I suddenly developed some form of homophobia where just the idea of his sex life makes me uncomfortable.” Hoseok’s voice lowers in shame. “And I don’t react like this to other gay people either, it’s just Minhyuk. I don’t know if this means I’m only with gay people as long as I’m not living with them, or something. But whatever it is, I really want to keep my friendship with Minhyuk, but if I can’t get over this, I’m going to have to move out since the last thing I want to do is hurt Minhyuk more than I already have. If I stay there and keep automatically judging him for his lifestyle, that’s what’s going to happen.” Hoseok rubs his eyes wearily, heart weighing heavy at the thought of moving out.

No more Movie Nights, no more Minhyuk cheering wildly after he completes another track in the late hours of the night, no more easy mornings with the aroma of homemade pancakes lingering in the air… _shit, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to leave all that behind. But I will if I have to. For Minhyuk,_ he resolves determinedly.

# ✖

It’s been two days and still no sign of Minhyuk. There’s a gloomy, oppressive air in the apartment. Traces of where they lived and interacted together all over the place, like the couch pillows strewn on the floor from their last movie night, or the watermelon slices Minhyuk loves sitting in the fridge.

Logically, Hoseok knows that Minhyuk could just be busy, or taking a little more time to cool off but in reality he knows the real reason why he isn’t here. It’s depressing and Hoseok is just about to give up waiting when the doorbell rings.

He sprints to the door, almost tripping over himself in anticipation. _Minhyuk?_ He holds his breath as the door swings open.

But in the end, he’s greeted with a warm and friendly smile. A familiar face, although it’s not the one he wants to see at the moment.

Pushing away his disappointment, Hoseok forces some enthusiasm into his tone. “Bora-noona! Wow, I haven’t seen you in forever –“

Instantly, she cuts him off, sharp as ever, but her words are said with a gentle smile. “Hoseok, if you’re upset, you don’t need to pretend to me that nothing’s wrong. I know just what to do to make you feel better, just follow me.”

Feeling a little comforted at her caring and worried tone, Hoseok obediently follows her out the door.

 

# ✖

 

“So, I have no idea how to deal with all this. I’ve never been homophobic before, obviously, but now it’s gotten to the extent where I’m jeopardizing my friendship with Minhyuk over something this trivial.” Hoseok says miserably.

“Hmm.” Is the only response he gets in return, which is pretty much all he’s gotten from Bora over the past half and hour.

“I mean have you ever heard of something like this before? I was thinking maybe my homophobia was _so_ internalized that it only shows when I get too close to the gay person or something? Like if I’m living with him, meaning Minhyuk. I mean, I _was_ really supportive of Changkyun and Kihyun’s relationship because, _god_ , they’re perfect for each other but maybe I was compensating for the homophobia I subconsciously knew I had? And I was fooling myself into thinking I wasn’t the terrible person that I am? Noona, do you think I need therapy –“

“Oh my god, Hoseok, stop, it’s like you’re stabbing a power drill into my chest and leaving it on!” Bora says, waving a hand. “One, please stop overanalysing things. You don’t have internalized homophobia and you’re _not_ a terrible person. Two, you’re a really sappy romantic, you know that? And three, selective homophobia is _not_ a thing. If you weren’t disgusted at Changkyun and Kihyun sucking face at Hyolyn’s birthday party last year when they were supposed to be bringing out the cake, you can’t feel like throwing up just thinking about Minhyuk kissing someone else. Okay? Let me tell you truth. You’re _jealous_.”

Frustration wells up in Hoseok. “No, noona, we already went over this, I’m not _jealous_ of Minhyuk’s sex life. I mean, let’s be honest here. Look at me. Do you think I have a problem getting girls at parties? I _chose_ not to fool around anymore.”

Bora sighs. She makes a dot with a droplet of her coffee on a napkin, and another dot on a napkin on the other side of the table. “This is the point I was trying to make,” she gestures to one of the droplets. “Now this is you,” she gestures to the other one.

“I don’t follow.” Hoseok says.

“What I’m _saying_ , is that you’re not jealous of Minhyuk’s sexual life! You’re _jealous_ that you’re not the one on the receiving end of his attention!” Bora says.

“What?” Hoseok sputters. “I’m with Minhyuk, like all the time! We’re roommates. I have his attention almost all the time!”

“Not the kind of attention you really want,” Bora says, waving a spoon. “Now get this straight, Shin Hoseok. And I don’t really mean that in a _straight_ way.”

“You,” she points the spoon at him accusingly. “Are an oblivious walnut.”

“Go think about everything that’s happened in the past few days. Are you sure you only think of Minhyuk as a friend?” Bora asks.

“Well, how else would I think of him? We’re friends.” Hoseok says.

“You’re a goddamn 22 year-old man, do I really have to spell this out for you?” Bora sighs dramatically. “They don’t pay me enough for this.”

“Noona, you’re not getting paid at all.” Hoseok deadpans. “And yes, I’ve had enough of this cryptic beating around the bush. Just tell me what you mean.”

“You’re gay for Minhyuk. Very very gay, with a capital G, Gay.” Bora states bluntly.

Hoseok chokes.

“ _What_? Never mind, go back to the cryptic shit, I think my brain just imploded.” Hoseok cries.

“Get over it Hoseok and think about what you’re doing. If you don’t think things through and confront your feelings, the only people you’re hurting here is Minhyuk, and yourself.” Bora says, unexpectedly serious.

Hoseok studies her face for another moment, before he relents. “Okay noona, I’ll think about it. Thanks for the advice.”

 

# ✖

 

When Hoseok gets back to his apartment, to his surprise, the lights are on. Heart beating a little faster, he fumbles with the keys for a moment before jamming them into the lock and opening the door.

He’s greeted with the smell of ramen and a small tentative smile from his roommate. Hoseok feels his heart swell.

Minhyuk sweeps him up into a tentative hug. “Is this okay?” he whispers. And in that moment, Hoseok knows that _they_ are okay.

“Minhyuk…” Hoseok whispers back, so utterly _relieved_ he feels tears well up in his eyes. “Yes, shit, god, I’m so sorry for being such a dick. I really don’t know what to say –“

“Shh, it’s okay,” Minhyuk pats his back comfortingly. “We were both dumb and stressed and said things we didn’t mean. I shouldn’t have responded to you like that.”

“No, I was aggressive first. I said intentionally hurtful things and I hurt you. I’m really sorry, Minhyuk.” Hoseok says remorsefully. Minhyuk pulls away from the hug, leaving a lack of warmth in his absence but looking at his face again, Hoseok thinks maybe that’s okay.

“Aw, you big baby, are you crying?” Minhyuk laughs a little, wiping at the unshed tears in Hoseok’s eyes. “Come on... it’s okay. Let’s just agree we were both being stupid, okay? But now, let’s eat the ramen before it becomes soggy and gross.” He turns back to the kitchen.

Smiling a little to himself, Hoseok responds, “Okay.”

 

# ✖

 

_If anything,_ Hoseok thinks, _Bora’s advice made everything_ worse _._ They’ve fallen back into their usual routine but now instead of suffering when Minhyuk brings guys home, he’s suffering just at the _sight_ of Minhyuk.

Minhyuk when he wakes up in the morning, hair sticking up at crazy angles in all directions, rubbing his eyes blearily. _Cute_. Minhyuk taking selfies with him when they grab bubble tea together, posting the pictures with captions that drive Hoseok crazy, like: _bubble tea date with Hoseokkie!! 100% sugar tea but you’re still sweeter <333 _

And worst of all: Minhyuk’s downright _outrageous_ , _sinful_ outfits for club nights. Hoseok once caught Minhyuk leaving the house in some kind of tight fitting black tee with _leather pants_ and _cat ears_ , of all things, for some reason. (It was apparently for a themed event, but no themed event should have been worth causing Hoseok a near-death experience like that from cardiac arrest.)

In other words, Hoseok is only more confused than ever.

“So, I’m pretty sure I’m not as straight as I thought,” Hoseok says, chewing on a piece of cake. “I mean, I felt _dirty_ after seeing his leather pants, I couldn’t stop thinking about –“

“Jesus, go read a fucking bible,” Hyungwon cuts him off before he can continue. “I already have changki to worry about, don’t follow them down that route too.”

“Thing is,” Hoseok continues like he hasn’t heard Hyungwon, “I have no clue what to do now. Like, Minhyuk is treating me like he’s always done, but now everything he does that used to be normal is driving me crazy.”

“Confess,” Bora says, stealing bits of his cake. “What else do you want to do? Wait until you’re thirty?”

Hoseok flushes. “What? How can I just confess out of nowhere like that?”

“What’s the matter?” Bora says. “I’m pretty sure Minhyuk likes you back anyway, from what you’ve told me.”

“How could you know that? He’s never said anything.” Hoseok says.

“The kid cuddles with you during movie nights, makes you _pancakes_ like some kind of God of Domestic Husbands and even forgives you for being the massive dick that you were the other day.” Bora says. “I’d say he likes you quite a lot. Besides, why would he say anything to the roommate who he thinks is straight, when he’d just get shot down and potentially ruin your friendship?”

_Good point,_ Hoseok thinks.

“ _And,_ ” Kihyun adds, “There was that time he got upset when you said you didn’t care if he was sleeping with other guys, remember? He stormed out right after that. Maybe he was upset at the reminder that you supposedly didn’t reciprocate his feelings at all. Maybe when he said he was sleeping at a friend’s house, he was trying to make you _jealous_.”

“ _And_ ,” A cup slams down on their table, causing everyone to flinch in surprise. Yoonho suddenly appears at their table, looking downright murderous.

In a venomous tone, he says, “There’s the fact that he cried his eyes out at my apartment after you two had that argument the other day, saying he wasn’t good enough for you and that he supposedly ruined everything you have together. This is probably breaking some kind of bro code, but I just want Minhyuk to be happy at this point and if this will get you to, with all respect hyung, _grow some balls and confess to him_ , then I have to do this.” He snatches the finished cups from their table and stalks off, until he trips over what looks to be flat ground and stumbles, before righting himself again and rushing into the kitchen like nothing happened.

“Valiant attempt to look cool again.” Kihyun shakes his head. “Poor kid’s not meant to be a barista, clearly, but at least he’s a loyal and caring friend.”

“I’m going to tip him.” Hoseok mutters. “Or should I hit him? I don’t know, he tried to help me and insulted me all in one sentence.”

“Well, Hoseok, what you do now is up to you,” Bora says, patting him on the shoulder.

“Fuck, Yoonho is right,” Hoseok shakes his head. “I have to set things straight with Minhyuk. Or this’ll drive me crazy forever. Sorry guys, I’m going to go now but thanks for everything!” He stands, quickly tossing cash onto the table to pay for his meal and rushes out the door.

“Wow, that was so unnecessarily dramatic,” Changkyun comments, chuckling to himself. “And I hope he doesn’t really mean to set things _straight_ with Minhyuk-hyung,” When everyone at the table gives him an exasperated expression, he simply shrugs. “What, not funny?”

# ✖

“Minhyuk!” Hoseok bursts into the apartment. “I’m a huge dick!”

Minhyuk peers out of the doorway of his room, cocking a single eyebrow. “Um, okay… but context please?”

“Wait, shit, I could’ve worded that better. Wow, can I start over?” Hoseok asks, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I tend to have word vomit when I’m nervous.”

“I’m well aware.” Minhyuk laughs lightly, walking over and flopping onto the couch. “So what did you want to talk about? Seems urgent.”

Hoseok swallows. “Yeah, um, it’s just, you know I’ve been a huge dick recently, right? So I just came to a realization the other day and I finally know why I’ve been acting like that.”

“Oh really?” Minhyuk’s eyes take on a little gleam of curiosity. _So fucking cute_.

“Yeah. I realised that I’m – you – I’m an oblivious walnut.” Hoseok wants to _smack_ himself. He internally curses Bora’s unique choice of insults that have been floating around his head for the past few days. “Not what I wanted to say! Fuck. I’m sorry, Minhyuk. I’m really the worst.”

“No you’re not,” Minhyuk laughs. “This is pretty entertaining, if I’m honest.”

Hoseok pouts, but continues. “Okay what I’m trying to say is… every time you brought a guy over, I wasn’t upset. I was jealous.”

“Of?” MInhyuk asks, looking confused. “ _Oh._ I’m sorry, I’ve been busy with art class and everything, so along with spending time with those FWBs, you must have been feeling neglected…”

“Ah, no, it’s not that,” Hoseok says. “Really, it’s just – okay I’m just going to come out and say it.”

“Minhyuk,” he says simply, no pretence, no fancy words. It makes him feel strangely vulnerable. “I like you.”

“Of course... I knew that? I like you too.” Minhyuk says, face still bearing confusion.

“No, Minhyuk, I like you, like in the _gay_ way, capital G, Gay.” _Damn, I need to stop adopting Bora’s form of speech._

Minhyuk stares at him open-mouthed, long enough for Hoseok's anxiety to rise to the surface. "Please say something."

“ _W-What_?” Minhyuk stammers in shock. “But you’re straight?”

Hoseok lets out a puff of laughter. He leans his head against Minhyuk’s body, murmuring the words into his chest. “As it turns out… I’m just about as straight as a bendy ruler.”

“Oh my god.” Minhyuk starts laughing. “Oh my god. This is the lamest confession _ever_ and I _love it_. Are you serious? Do you actually like me?”

“Only if you like me.” Hoseok smiles. “Kidding. Even if you didn’t like me, I’m now doomed to pine after you forever.”

Minhyuk screeches unexpectedly, a high-pitched dolphin-like sound that Hoseok recognises from the times they’ve watched dramatic reality television shows together. It’s unbearably endearing and he immediately scoops Minhyuk up into a hug.

After a few moments they pull apart, Minhyuk surveying his face with a strange sort of intensity. “Let me know if this is okay, okay?” And with no warning whatsoever – much like how Minhyuk does most things – he swoops in and kisses Hoseok.

And Hoseok has never felt so _warm_ , like the sun is pouring its essence right into his soul. Dazedly, he thinks, _Minhyuk, you bastard, you’re causing global warming._

It ends too soon for him to enjoy the moment in full. Minhyuk pulls back and looks at him carefully. “Was that okay?”

“More than okay,” Hoseok grins dopily.

“Wait, then why were you upset with me sleeping with guys anyway?” Minhyuk asks.

“As it turns out,” Hoseok smiles at him sheepishly, “I don’t have any problem with you kissing guys as long as it’s me you’re kissing.”

“You huge sap,” Minhyuk teases.

“Aw come on, don’t make fun of me,” Hoseok whines. He sees Minhyuk about to open his mouth to make a retort and comes up with a genius plan to win the argument.

Before Minhyuk has a chance to say anything, he rushes forward and presses his mouth against Minhyuk’s again.

 

# ✖

 

“So, we talked. Long story short: I’m not a homophobe and nobody needed therapy. All that flirting between us was real, but Minhyuk didn’t have any hope of it going further because of me being an oblivious ‘Straight Guy’.” Hoseok concludes.

“Yeah, and I was sleeping with a bunch of different people trying to get over you, you dick.” Minhyuk complains, stuffing a bunch of fries into his mouth. “It’s hilarious that you thought your jealousy was homophobia though, I never expected you to be the jealous type.”

Hoseok pinches his arm playfully and Minhyuk swats it away in return. Hoseok thinks back to the two of them on the couch, bursting into giggles after his explanation, mostly out of awkwardness and nervousness. Seeing Minhyuk that nervous and unsure was strange – since he was usually so confident – but thrilling at the same time, knowing only he got to see the rare glimpse of Minhyuk’s vulnerable side.

“Since then, we’ve kind of been easing into the whole dating thing, I guess? We’ve been going slow since I’ve… never done this kind of thing with a _guy_ before,” Hoseok feels the heat rise to his face and hastily carries on. “We had our first date last weekend and it was _incredible_ –“

“It was a little weird though,” Minhyuk interjects. “Since we’ve done the same thing a million times before, just that this time, there was a new context.”

“And we’re doing our usual thing at home, but sometimes, we get distracted.” Hoseok admits. “Last week, I almost burned dinner because I had to kiss him and we just got kind of carried away.” He gives Minhyuk a sheepish look but Minhyuk just rolls his eyes playfully in reply.

“I’m a little worried about coming out to my family and other friends, since this is as new to me as it is for them. You guys know my parents are pretty open-minded but still… it’s a big thing.” Hoseok says. “I plan to do it eventually though.”

“Ahhh… I’m nervous to meet your parents.” Minhyuk admits.

“What? Why? You’ve met them plenty of times before – my mom _loves_ you and so do my younger siblings! I’m convinced they’d trade me for you, honestly,” Hoseok huffs in mock annoyance. Minhyuk shoots him a grateful smile.

“Yeah, but, it’s a whole different context now!” Minhyuk flails his arms.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll do _fine_ ,” Hoseok reassures him, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

After a long silence, Kihyun finally pipes up. “So this extremely convoluted drama has finally concluded itself? You’re happy now?”

Shyly, the two of them nod.

“I still don’t know what I really am though,” Hoseok says. “Like, I thought I was straight for the longest time but then Minhyuk comes along and I can’t stop thinking about his eyes or his ass –“

“Please stop right here before I have to buy myself brain bleach, Hoseok,” Hyungwon sighs with the air of someone who has endured much suffering in life.

“Labels, Hoseokkie, don’t matter,” Bora states wisely. “As long as you’re happy.”

“I can’t believe I was Shin Hoseok, the famous _Wonho’s_ , gay awakening!” Minhyuk exclaims gleefully.

“Wow though, someone should write an article on this. Call up Buzzfeed.” Changkyun remarks.

“Title it: ‘Straight guy worries he’s being homophobic to gay roommate, realises he’s fallen in love with him’.” Kihyun adds, snickering.

“They could do an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved too: The Mysterious Case of Hoseok’s Obliviousness.” Hyungwon says.

“Guys,” Hoseok whines, flushing in embarrassment. “Stop making fun of me.”

“Besides,” Minhyuk cuts in smoothly. “We’re supposed to have a movie marathon now, so we’ll be going now.”

“Tarantino?” Hoseok says, looking up at Minhyuk with shining eyes.

Minhyuk laughs. “Of course. Nothing says romance like graphic violence, right?”

“Ah, you know the way straight to my heart,” Hoseok teases back.

Shyly, they lock their fingers together, wave goodbye to those sitting at the table and walk out of the café.

“Wow.” Hyungwon says in a flat tone. “I can’t believe we found a couple _worse_ than changki. This is going to drain the soul right out of my body if I have to see any more of their awkward, first-grader displays of affection.”

“You sure _you’re_ not internally homophobic, hyung?” Changkyun narrows his eyes at Hyungwon accusingly.

“Changkyun, I’m literally bisexual.” Hyungwon glares. “I’m just bitter and lonely okay, leave me be and go make out with Kihyun or something.”

Suddenly, a couple more people squeeze themselves into the booth. Kihyun recognizes Hyunwoo from the swim team, Gunhee and Jooheon, one of Hoseok’s course mates from music production.

“Wow, what’s with everyone infringing on our sacred Sunday Brunch today?” Kihyun complains, but mostly in a joking way. He turns to look at Hyungwon, expecting a similar look of disdain on his face but jolts when he realizes Hyungwon isn’t looking upset at all.

In fact, Kihyun notes, eyes lingering on Hyungwon’s face. He seems to be positively _staring_ at one of the newcomers – Jooheon.

_Interesting_ , Kihyun thinks with a manic sort of glee. Very _interesting._

 

 

# ✖

 

“Does it feel like we maybe just missed something important at Sunday Brunch?” Hoseok asks.

“I don’t know, why?” Minhyuk replies, as he curls up beside Hoseok, drawing the blankets over both of them.

“I’ve just got… a weird feeling,” Hoseok frowns. “Don’t know, it’s probably nothing.”

“Well, if you need a distraction from that weird feeling, you know I’m always willing to help,” Minhyuk grins mischievously, nuzzling into his shoulder.

Hoseok laughs, flicking him on the nose playfully. “You’re such a helpful boyfriend.”

At the word _boyfriend_ , Minhyuk’s entire face lights up. Hoseok resists the urge to coo at how cute it is.

Sure, they haven’t put any official labels on their relationship yet, but Hoseok thinks that maybe, labels really don’t matter, as long as they’re happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that because I definitely enjoyed writing it! It took 4 hours to complete because I kept wanting to add on to this fic, but in the end I decided to keep it shorter rather than multi-chaptered. Leave your comments to let me know what you think - feedback is always appreciated! :)


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